Keep your mouth shut if you want to keep your job. Dear Faculty and Staff – In the wake of the most recent accounting, sex, Xanax, admissions, cheating, athletics, and money-for-grades scandals, it’s clear that there’s a lot of confusion about the university’s unofficial code of silence. To eliminate any…

Buyer beware. — Those who work in higher education are accustomed to hearing people say that students are the reason we all show up to work every day. Even though they tend to see students primarily as numbers, those who work in administration want to be seen publicly promoting the idea that higher…

Number ten will surprise you. 1. Having sex with a sex worker who is not also a student 2. Having sex with an adult nonstudent friend 3. Masturbating (as long as it’s not in a classroom or office or within 500 feet of a student) 4. Celibacy 5. Walking the…

Good feces make good neighbors. — Dear Neighbor — It’s been a while since your dog has crapped in my yard, and I’m getting a little worried. I know we don’t speak a lot, except when I ask you to stop bringing your furry fudge factory over to release its bowels near my house and you…

The satire by François Rabelais obviously influenced Jonathan Swift and other satirists. — I normally like to write blog posts like this about entire texts, but that is virtually impossible with some texts that really require months if not years to read and analyze. One day, I may finish the Thousand and One Arabian Nights, but it’s a daunting undertaking. At least story…

A vocal minority is determined to prevent it, for really weird reasons. — The cultural debate over whether college should be free for all Americans is mostly on pause for now. Since Joe Biden won the nomination for president over Bernie Sanders in 2020, the subject has largely left the national conversation. That’s a little surprising, since a huge majority of Democrats still…

And what I would do differently. — First, a warning and a disclaimer. I am not advocating criminal activity. If you decide to try picking locks, you must only pick locks that you own or have permission to open, and you should never pick a lock in service. I practice locksport, which involves picking out-of-service locks that…

It’s the most humane treatment of humanity’s response to crisis that you’re likely to encounter. — The Plague by Albert Camus has skyrocketed in popularity lately due to the current COVID-19 pandemic. In fact, much of the writing about it in the last three years has been about how popular it has become and what it reflects about our current experiences. The human response to epidemics…

You probably already know the answer. — I teach the literature of the past, and sometimes I have to talk about slavery. Sometimes I have to talk about racism and colonialism. …