Member-only story
Here’s Why Groups Don’t Accept You
They want you to act like you need them.
If you’re like me, you’ve struggled all your life to feel like you belonged. I used to feel like it was my fault, and in a way, that’s correct. But there was nothing wrong with me, and that’s my message to you. There doesn’t need to be anything wrong with you for groups to reject you. It’s often a problem with the way that groups tend to behave.
The bad news is that it’s probably not going to change. Groups may never accept you. The good news is that it’s usually not your fault, and knowing that can bring you some peace. But there’s a lot more to it. Collectives can enhance your influence and security, so being in groups can give individuals real advantages. You should decide whether the costs of being in a group are worth the benefits you receive. If not, you should consider leaving the group, whether it’s a family, a workplace, a team, or a social group.
A few disclaimers first. 1. Group leaders are usually exempt from these principles. Leadership has its privileges. 2. Individuals can be wrong for a group for a thousand different reasons. People can be unreliable, dishonest, malicious, etc. I’m…
