Open Letter to the Student Who Tried to Convert Me to Islam

I still have the copy of The Gracious Quran you gave me.

Matthew Thiele
3 min readAug 29, 2023

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Photo by Dmytro Kormylets via Pexels.

We never knew each other well. It is important for me to maintain some distance from my students, as close friendships can lead to compromises and troubling rumors. Whispers of favoritism. Intimacy. That would have been absurd in your case, but it wouldn’t have…

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Matthew Thiele

Independent scholar and satirist. Published in Slackjaw, Points in Case, McSweeney’s, Ben Jonson Journal, and other fine publications.