Revenge Fantasies for Idiots: “I’m Super Low-Class” by Teton Toots

Part 8 in an ongoing series

Photo by Kevin Bidwell from Pexels

To the tune of “Greensleeves.”

I showed up uninvited to your fancy party, maybe a wedding. I was dressed in a cowboy costume.

Somehow nobody stopped me from approaching you even though I was obviously unwelcome.

I took a glass from the man who was standing next to you. He was surprised and terrified. Ha ha.

I crashed your party and spitefully toasted you to ruin your nice event. Now you look like a big jerk.

Did somebody call the police? I’ll never tell. Did I get punched in the face? I can’t remember. That happens to me a lot.

Please don’t call me a stalker. I’m super low-class.

Photo by makenzie cooper on Unsplash

I guess nobody likes me. Why did you date me if you only like classy things? Did you listen to “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel too many times as a child?

I come from a long line of mavericks, outlaws and rebels. Please don’t call us losers. The fact that we lose a lot is definitely unrelated.