The College Prison Career Fair Is Happening Right Now, You Thankless Bastards

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood from Pexels

Hey assholes — The College Prison Career Fair is happening RIGHT NOW in the Student Academic Excellence and Cheating Facilitation Center, and we have had literally ZERO people come by. We cancelled an entire DAY’S worth of tutoring sessions to host this event, and we’ll be DAMNED if we’re going to let you ruin it for us.

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Matthew Thiele

Matthew Thiele

Teacher. Satirist. Scholar. Published in Slackjaw, Points in Case, McSweeney’s, Ben Jonson Journal, and elsewhere. Definitely not a robot. Or an alien.